How to enjoy your sex life whilst trying to make a baby
Sex can be hard to get right at the best of times, let alone when you are trying to conceive. If sex has become a chore and you now refer to your romantic romps as ovulation opportunities, read these tips and advice to make your under-the-sheets time fun and stress-free.
- Take a day off Although having sex when you or your partner is ovulating is important when you are trying to conceive, chances are you won’t enjoy sex if you have to do it constantly. Taking a break, whether it’s for one day or one month, can give you both the space and time you need so that when you have sex again the excitement and passion you once shared will return. However, although women should take a break from sex, they shouldn’t take a break from being around babies. Researchers have found that visiting friends who have recently become mums is one of the strongest natural aphrodisiacs. Within the study those women who smelled maternity bra pads from breastfeeding women reported a dramatic increase in sexual desire and sexual fantasies. Best book a visit to the maternity ward ladies!
- Stick to your routine The best way to make sex stress-free and enjoyable when you are trying to conceive is to try to stick to your old routine. If you had a great sex life before you tried to make a baby, then try to recapture those fun times by having sex at the same time you used to, in the same places and in the same positions. The more familiar the sex becomes, the more you will relax into the moment and you may even forget the reason you are jumping into bed with one another (especially if you don’t mention it!). However, if you and your partner didn’t enjoy sex before you began trying to make a baby it’s about time you mixed it up a little. Talk openly about what you both want. Do they have any fantasies they want to act out? Do you both want to try out some new lingerie or outfits? Discuss your needs and experiment with new positions until you find something that works for you both.
- Work the five senses Just because you’re trying to conceive does not mean that you should not put effort to making sex great for you and your partner. To make sure you have incredible sex whilst trying to make a baby, target the five senses: sight, smell, touch, taste and sound. To stimulate all five you should put on some romantic music, light a vanilla candle (the vanilla scent increases guys’ sex drives), feed each other libido-boosting foods like strawberries, wear some hot lingerie and then have a roll-around on silk sheets. You can also heighten the experience with a blindfold.
- De-stress Stress is the all-time number one reason for having bad sex. Cortisol, the stress hormone, makes you want sex less and makes it harder for you to be turned on. To combat the effects of stress, try to relax before you get under the covers. Take a long bath together, or have a steamy shower. Light scented lavender candles and let all of the day’s worries drift away from you. If you have time, give each other a massage as this will help you both get comfortable with one another and it will help you de-stress. Exercising can also reduce your levels of stress and will help you relax when you’re trying to conceive. If you can, book a night away in a hotel. You won’t have any of the pressures of home around you, no chores to do, just time to relax together and have that all-important lie in.
- Be loving Remember why you are with the other person and why you want to have a baby together. Sometimes when you are trying to conceive it can be easy to lose sight of your feelings for one another and sex can become something you tick off your to-do list rather than it being an act of love. To get back to enjoying sex, surprise your partner with a gift or a card and tell them that you love them. You should also make sure you have lots of hugs and skin-to-skin contact. Researcher, Dr Michel Odent, explains that we all need oxytocin to get sexually aroused. We receive increased levels of oxytocin when we have skin-to-skin contact with our partners. Next time you and your guy or girl are watching a film, remember to snuggle up to them, who knows where it could lead?