Forget ‘take a deep breath and count to ten’ – some people’s behaviour is so intolerable it demands a much stronger response. Keeping far away from these irksome types isn’t always an option; in fact, a few of them may actually invade your space incessantly from nine to five. So you just have to try to get along. But if you’re inexperienced in negotiating with tormentors who appear to go out of their way to make your life difficult, you could end up playing right into their hands. What you need are clever tricks to stop their seemingly non-existent social skills from getting the better of you.
Identify Your Enemy
For starters, get to grips with the type of agitator you’re facing. Here are three common personality flaws you may encounter and simple tactics to dispel their disagreeableness:
- Aggressiveness. When a loud-mouthed, rude type tries to intimidate you, resist mimicking their temper-tantrum-worthy antics. rather, allow them to rant until they’ve calmed down a bit – listen to what they’re saying, but don’t let yourself be pulled into an argument – and then draw closer to them, maintain eye contact, and have your say in a soft tone. Concentrate on keeping the conversation constructive.
- Arrogance. The overbearingly opinionated types who think that only their viewpoints have worth are particularly obnoxious. If you’re going to get the upper hand when taking on one of these, you’ll have to be certain that you’re in the right and can quote sussed-out facts – better still, collect printouts of credible information to back up your standpoint.
- Viciousness. Shield yourself from just-plain-mean types’ poison by not acknowledging their hurtful criticism and snide, sarcastic comments. These people want to unnerve you, so if you stay composed and don’t appear fazed by their nastiness (demonstrating that you’re retaining your power), it’s likely they’ll tone down the catty teenager act.
When forced to work with (or even just make conversation with) someone who makes you want to scream, it’s helpful to have abroad-spectrum coping strategy. Here are tips to help you neutralise countless dysfunctional personality traits:
- De-victimise. Blaming others for your simmering temper or plummeting self-esteem removes personal responsibility. While this may temporarily relieve unpleasant emotions (it’s not your fault that your stress hormones are skyrocketing and feelings of self-worth dropping, after all), believing you’re helpless may prevent you from taking control of your circumstances. You’ve heard it before: it’s close to impossible to change others, but you really can decide how you react to them. Strenuous exercise and relaxation routines may boost your resilience and help keep your emotions stable.
- Take them by surprise. Next Time someone tries to aggravate you, twist things up by responding in the most unexpected way. This crafty tricks shows that you’re taking ownership of your reaction, and will more than likely interrupt a negative pattern of communication, bringing it to a standstill.
- Get inside their head. Surprisingly, one potential way to increase your tolerance to an individual you can’t stand is to seek out their company. Invite them to a social outing where you’ll be able to chat and get to know each other (at a coffee shop, for example). If you get a hint of the underlying factors that make the person act out, your dislike may turn to empathy and negativity may vanish. If strong moral conflict is what’s keeping you apart, however, hanging out together may intensify the tension.
- Look in the mirror. Think about whether it’ possible that something inside of you has sparked your aversion to a particular person. If you’re consumed by the green-eyed monster every time you think of their attributes or accomplishments, jealousy could be obscuring your perception and making you demonise them in your mind. Perhaps the person reminds you of someone who has taunted you in the past and that’s what’s making your skin crawl every time they’re nearby. To pinpoint whether your reactions are valid, concentrate on how you feel about someone’s behaviour and not their appearance, mannerisms and quirks.
Forming bonds with those you come into contact with has wide-ranging perks; effective communicators usually have enhanced potential for success in many areas of their lives. so, you should make an effort to figure out the best ways to connect with every personality type, no matter how infuriating you find them. However, since the world is swarming with individuals who appear to precariously to verge on psychopathic, if you really can’t get through someone and their actions cause you tremendous distress practise emotional detachment by shutting out their vileness so it can’t touch you.